Today I am sharing an entry from my baby journal in support of Johnson’s Baby Cares, Save the Children, and new mom Hilary Duff’s newest initiative.  They have joined forces  to  make sure families who are experiencing difficult times, both in the U.S. and around the world, get the baby care resources they need.  Each year, more than 3.1 million babies die before they turn one month old. Through the JOHNSON’S® BABY CARES campaign in support of Save the Children, health workers and midwives in developing countries can get the vital training and basic techniques to prevent birth asphyxia, saving newborn lives in a program called Helping Babies Breathe. “Baby Care Kits” have been created and are filled with essential JOHNSON’S Baby products that will be sent to families worldwide.

February 27, 2005

Dear Oldest: 

You are a big brother now.  Your baby sister was born at 5:11 p.m just a few months ago.  I went to the hospital on a Thursday night and you spent a week at your Nana and Grandpa’s house.  Unfortunately since your baby sister was in the NICU, you were not able to see her while she was in the hospital.  When I was pregnant, you were were so excited to have a baby sister.  But when you found out that you had to wait to see and touch her it made you very upset. We hadn’t prepared you for this — having to see her from behind a glass.  After the nurses pulled her “bed” near the glass, you got so upset.  You could tell she was sick.  She was connected to many “machines” as you called it, and it worried you.  The nurses suggested that it would be better if you just visited me and not her.  So for several days you went to the hospital and sat in my room, asking all about your sister.  

It was very hard to try to be there for you while I was in the hospital.  I was in the hospital for 12 days worried about you and your sister.  I wanted us all home together, not split apart.  Thankfully your Tita (Grandma) arrived just a few days later so you were able to sleep in your bed for a little sense of normalcy.   

See, we didn’t expect your sister to come so early and because of that, Mommy and Daddy were gone for almost two weeks.  You thought having a new sister was going to be fun, you didn’t expect us to be gone.  But the day we all finally came home and you got to see your baby sister was a day I’ll never forget.   Your sister was waiting for you in the car and we surprised you.  You looked into the car and your entire face lit up.  You couldn’t believe that you could finally touch her and see her up close.  We kept you home the next few days so that you could hug and kiss “your baby” (as you called her), as much as you wanted.  You were so happy and proud of your baby.  You wanted to take care of her as much as possible and kept asking if she was still sick.  You had taken your role as big brother very seriously.  

As you get older, I want you to remember how much you took care of your sister when she was a baby.  You are now a big brother and you two will be a team. Take care of each other, always.  

Love, Mommy 

Join me in celebrating babies around the world. Help spread the word about Johnson’s program. On Twitter use the hashtag #WeCare and be sure to follow Johnson’s on Facebook and check out the website here.

I wrote this post as part of my affiliation with Latina Bloggers Connect and Johnson’s Baby.  All opinions expressed are my own.

There are days when I throw my hands up in the air and decide that it’s time to quit my side gig  and day job to instead focus on trying to become a better mom. Then there are days when I give up and say I just suck as a mom because I just can’t figure it out.   As I’ve shared before, I don’t know how to raise my Tween.   Some days, he just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and before breakfast is over, he makes me want to add a heavy splash of Rhum Barbencourt to my Bustello.

Lately it just seems he is getting more and more mouthy and is complaining about everything.  On top of that, he recently said the awful “hate” word when referring to his own parents, aka me and the hubs! And he has said it about his siblings too.  It’s time I do something to nip this in the bud, and fast. But how?

I realize that some rebellion might be normal but saying the hate word is too much for me to handle.  The first time he said it, I took everything away and gave him a long talk.  I don’t know how much that helped because it happened again.

The most recent hate word came a few weeks ago.  I am a believer in having kids do age appropriate chores.  For my tween, that means a number of things like taking out the trash, collecting trash in each bathroom, and  putting his clothes away after they are washed and folded for him.  Of course, he has to keep his room tidy enough, at least.  So on cleaning day, we assigned him a few chores and it was downhill from there. He complained, talked back, then asked for help when he didn’t need it.  Taking out the trash resulted in a 20 minute production  –  ”How do you tie the bag?” “Where should I put it next?” “Oops, spilled half the bag!”

It was enough to drive me crazy.

I’ve read not to let your kid know that they are getting to you, to control your emotions. So I tried to remain calm and then told him if he kept up his attitude, I would add more chores to his list.  Two warnings later, he got another task and out came the big “H” word.

I realize transitions are a big part of raising kids but this transition, I can’t seem to grasp. I don’t anticipate it getting any better, I only see it getting more difficult.  So again, I ask, how do I do this? How do I handle this transition without digging a deeper wedge between myself and my first born?

Help!

I hope everyone has been having a great holiday season so far! Each year we spend so much time and energy getting ready for the big day and before we know it, it’s all finished. Crazy stuff, isn’t it?
This year, I wanted to savor my time off from work as much as possible and act like I was on vacation, rather than just trapped at home for two weeks with the kids. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I was planning to keep the kids as busy as possible so that we could all fun. So I finished my holiday shopping early and set out to find fun things for us to do.

Last week we did a full blown “staycation.” We were tourists in our own city and took advantage of exploring our home town and taking part in as many fun things as we could.
We spent one afternoon in St. Augustine, Florida, about 45 minutes from where we live. Each year they do a Winter Wonderland for kids. There was a Santa Village, horse and carriage rides, bon-fires to make S’mores, a mini-polar express train, and more. The kids had a blast and although the activities were a little pricey, it was worth the fun.

Another day we went ice skating. There is an indoor ice skating rink only ten miles or so from where we live. I’ve passed the rink so many times over the years I can’t believe that I have never taken the kids. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio and ice skating was as common as bike riding. I was surprised I was able to get on the skates and work some magic around the rink. The kids did pretty good for their first time and had a blast.

Back at home we made cookies, did Christmas crafts, and even went Christmas caroling at one of the local hospitals for the long-term care patients (patients that have been in the hospital for weeks and even months).

We’ve been pleasantly busy and the kids keep saying how much fun they are having.  This week we are traveling to Cleveland, Ohio where the fun continues.

Now, if only I can get my Christmas Cards, New Year’s cards together so that they can be mailed out before Valentine’s Day then I’ll be good to go!

What have you been doing to keep yourself busy this holiday season?

Last night I was thinking about how chaotic my life used to be  with three kids four and under.  When my third baby was born, I had two in diapers and on bottles.

That time period was really a blur.  It zipped by so fast that I really can’t remember the details of what happened.  I just remember the gist of stuff; the sleepless nights,  the constant baby holding or baby feeding, and breastfeeding around the clock.  Everything else, kind of a blur. In fact, I couldn’t really find a good picture of all three kids at this time.  Hmm, strange as I always take pictures.

Last night’s flashback was about one of those many “this can’t be happening to me right now” moments where you want to throw your hands up and give up.  Where you are wondering how it was possible for a situation  to get worse or crazier but somehow it did.

One of those moments involved a trip to Babies-r-Us to buy extra parts for my breast pump.  I don’t know why I was so dead set on going that day but I was. I was exhausted, tired, and home alone while the hubs was at work.  But I needed the parts and I was going.  It took me hours to get everyone ready.  I had to feed the newborn, burp him, change him, put him to sleep then place him ever so gently in the car seat so he would sleep in the car the whole way to the store. Then I had to do the same with the one year old, except she refused to nap so I had to find all the toys she could possibly want to play with to occupy her while in the car, at the store, and on the way home.   Then, I had to pack diaper bags, snacks for the four year old, snacks for the one year old (because they didn’t eat the same snacks -of course) and hurry up and put everyone in the car as quietly as possible and beg and bribe my four year old to keep quiet so the baby could stay asleep the whole way there.

Exhausting just thinking about it!

We get to the store in one piece, but of course, the baby woke up as soon as I get there and was “starving” so our first stop was to spend an hour  in the mother’s room feeding him while the other two kids wrecked the place.  Then of course, they were all hungry and I had to change both of the little one’s diapers.  Then it was snack time.  FINALLY, we leave the room and go get the parts.

Two hours later, we return to the house, me exhausted and drained, but with the “much needed” breast pump parts that I just “had” to buy that day.  As I approached the front door I heard the smoke alarms going off. Strange? When I opened the door, I found the entire house full of smoke and fumes.  In the midst of my chaos of getting everyone ready I had totally forgotten that I had put several of my other breast pump parts in a pot of boiling water to sanitize them before we left.  And by several parts, I really mean all my valves and shields.

The water had totally evaporated and the pieces had melted together into one yellow and white mess.  Not only were they ruined but so was my big pot that was perfect for everything.  You know, that one pot that you always use when you cook anything? That one.

I remember hearing that melted plastic released poisonous fumes so I left the kids at the front door, opened all the windows, and left the house for the rest of the entire day.   I don’t remember where I went because that’s just another blur.  All I remember was wanting to cry.  In fact, I did cry. I called my husband who was enjoying a nice quiet day at work, and told him that I was ”NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!!“  That this was, “ALL CRAZY,” and we needed to figure out how we were going to GET SOME HELP!!

And a few short weeks later, I had a nanny that my mother-in-law had promptly found for us start.  Hallelujuah!

Today I can laugh at that story because now the kids are all grown up.  I am not juggling nap schedules but juggling extra-curricular activities, or homework assignments, and breaking up fights.  From the kitchen I can tell the kids to get in the shower, get dressed, brush teeth, and call me when they are ready for me to tuck them in.  Meanwhile, I have washed the dishes (in peace) or caught up on the phone with a girlfriend.    It’s just wonderful but makes me a little sad to think how big my kids are now. Soon I’ll be dropping my ten year old off to high school then to college (at Harvard, of course) and my daughter will be getting ready for prom while her younger brother drives off to the movies.  Sigh! They are all grown up!

For now I’ll just cherish the memories.