As a mom and a woman, it sometimes surprises me the things we manage to do when we put our minds to it. I remember having to carry my feverish 5 year-old son up and then down a hill on cobblestone sidewalks almost a mile each way IN MEXICO while convincing my 8 year-old son and 6 year-old daughter to keep walking even though they were tired. We had to get him to the pediatrician to find out why he woke up with a 103 temp and rash on his body and tongue. Of course, not a single cab passed us going home or getting to the doctor’s office. (Turns out, Scarlet Fever is still a thing.) If you’ve never done this, a 5 year-old human with a high temp is deadweight. I may as well have been carrying a grown man. I deserved a cape that day.
I find myself exhibiting the same type of superpowers lately, and I am pretty impressed if I do say so myself.
Superhuman powers I have exhibited recently:
1. Fixed my popped bike chain in 94 degree weather after drinking 4+ mimosas at bottomless mimosas brunch. Smiling at the guy who just sat there and watched me do it might also be a superhuman power.
2. Killed a giant horse fly with one try.
3. Picked up dead horse fly even after seeing a maggot on it.
4. Survived picking up dead horse fly with maggot on it and putting it in the trash.
5. Destroyed wasp nest in backyard and managed to run away fast enough not to be killed by a wasp attack.
6. Getting to work by 9:07 a.m. even though summer camp doesn’t start until 8:30 a.m., on the other side of town.
7. Getting to work by 9:07 a.m. after making two camp drop offs because having your kids in the same summer camp would just be too convenient.
8. Sorted and paid all the bills early and scheduled future payments for next month. Waiting to pay bills until the day they are due just doesn’t give me thrills anymore.
9. Read 12 cases (legal opinions) in two days and managed to summarize them for a 1000+ word blog post that actually sounds pretty interesting.
10. Figured out how much air was needed in my car tire.
11. Put air in my car tire all by myself while wearing a dress.
12. Told my 10 year-old son not to do something before he physically even moved to do it. “Do not push her in the pool, you will REGRET IT!” The look on his face when he realized I really could read his mind.
13. Not unfriending people on Facebook after they revealed major Orange is the New Black spoilers on Facebook the same weekend that the new season started. Not everyone was able to binge watch the whole season, people!
I could probably keep going but then that would just be bragging and I am just not the bragging sort. This list above, though?What will happen next?
Do you ever find yourself demonstrating real superhuman powers? Share in comments below!