There is No Way To Be a Perfect Mother

 A reflection on a really bad day of motherhood via @JusticeJonesie

Being a mom can be so hard. And often we’re so hard on ourselves.  We stress, worry, beat ourselves up over what we could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve done differently.  But one of my favorite mom quotes helps me keep this job in perspective when I’m having a bad day. Below is a post I wrote after having a really bad day as a mom.  It was written a few years ago but even as I read it now I want to say ouch. Thank goodness our children are forgiving and their hearts big.

Originally posted by me on 5.6.11 on MamaLaw.

Just file me under the worst mom ever.

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’m reminded how hard this job is.  The kids will be out of school in about two weeks. As is the case every year, this is a busy time for us due to all the end of year activities. This year I have three different mother’s day events, three different end-of-year parties, two graduations (prek-4 and Kindergarten), a couple of field trips, etc. I’m over here twisting myself into a pretzel just to make it from one place to the next.  I have more than 10 school related events in the next 10 school days.  Two for some days.  And did I mention that I have work related stuff going on to?  As my semester closes, I have numerous things to do.  There’s final papers to be graded (I have 28 left and they are 20 pages each), many letters of recommendation letters to write for students, faculty meetings, etc. I’m going nuts over here!

Among all of this chaos the fun activities, I totally missed my five year old’s Muffins with Mom event on Wednesday.  I didn’t just miss it and then stop dead in my tracks hours later, I totally missed it as in, didn’t-even-realize-it-until-my-sweet-little-boy-got-in-the-car-after-school-and-broke-down-in-tears-because-he-was-born-to-the-worst-mom-ever.   I think I stopped breathing when I realized my goof up.  And when he told me that he kept looking for me while the class was doing their performance for the moms (a cute song and dance that he had been practicing for all week), I felt worse.  I felt horrible, like the worst mom ever to be exact.  How could I miss it??

Where was I, you ask?

At home, just up the street from school, grading papers.  It was on my radar and I was looking forward to it.  I didn’t even realize it was Wednesday, and not just Wednesday, but Wednesday, May 4th.  Muffins with Moms day.  Still, no excuse  for not attending.  None. As I apologized profusely I promised to go to school the next day to bring him a special lunch (happy meal, with a milkshake).  Then I realized I couldn’t because I had to travel to Orlando for the day, so then I promised to go on Friday, then was reminded by Oldest that Friday was his mother’s day event. I felt even worse when I looked at my calendar only to realize that my next available lunch opportunity wasn’t until the following Wednesday.  Monday I have a work related lunch. Tuesday, he has a field trip.  So that brings us to Wednesday. Sigh. I need a body double.  And an assistant.  And a sister wife.  Hubby saw how crushed I was an gave me a heart felt lecture at how I was trying my best, not to beat myself up about it, blah, blah. I could only think about was his sweet little face.  I was upset with myself. As we all talked about how exciting Wednesday would be, Baby boy was back to his usual, happy self.  Soon he was fighting with his siblings in the back seat.

Lesson learned, remember to look at your calendar every night and  don’t be too hard on myself, especially when I’m trying my best.  We have to learn to forgive ourselves for our parenting mistakes, especially when we know we’re trying our best.  After all, motherhood is not an easy task!


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    Brandi Dawn says

    This post is probably a big stress reliever for a lot of new moms. I learned the hard way, most of us do. But as I always say, if we are striving for perfection then we are not gonna fall short of our very best.

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    I have been a mom for 6 months, and I am often overwhelmed with the feeling of being the worst mother ever! I realize I have to stop being so hard on myself, and take it one day at a time. But its overwhelming sometimes! Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes it helps to know that I am not alone in feeling this way, and to know that even if I am not perfect I am working hard at being a good mom. I’m a work in progress!

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