This weekend I”ll be running in my fourth race and I will collect my fourth medal. I’m not feeling as great for this race as I did for my last race. When I ran my half in November, I was at the peak of my performance and ended up beating my own personal record. For this race, I’ve had a combination of things make it harder for me to train. For one thing, I was getting bored of the same old routine. Running is not exactly fun. Some people really enjoy it but for me, too much of anything gets bor-ing.
Also, I was tired. Just plain tired of running. I would often wake up at 5 am and meet my running buddy to get our run done and over with before our days even started. But that didn’t exactly work. By 8:30 p.m. I was so dead tired I would not get a bunch of other stuff done.
Then running started to feel like the same old routine. Eat, kids, run, kids’ homework, fall asleep exhausted, then start all over the next day. Every day was Ground Hog’s Day. It wasn’t easy and it was getting old. Next thing you know, I started skipping my runs and found myself at yoga or boot camp – or at home enjoying a glass of wine feeling very guilty about not running that day.
Now here I am, four days out, and I’m wondering, kind of panicking, at the idea of being able to run the entire 15k. Yesterday, I secretly decided I was not going to run. I was going to quit. This is so unlike me because I never quit anything. I rather stick it out and enjoy the feeling of overcoming the obstacle. Victory is always so much better when you win. After I decided not to quit, I thought about ways I could still do awesome. Chugging a bunch of those energy packs you get at the health food store and running as fast as I could to the finish line seemed like a good idea. Even if it meant busting my hip again. It was all about doing well and a competition with my own ego regardless of the price.
That’s all crazy.
This morning though, I had a bit of a wake up call. Someone in my Facebook running group posted the picture above to remind us moms how much more we’ve had to do with regard to preparing for this race. And then it hit me. I really am doing a lot. Between kids, work, blogging, Niche Mommy launch, well, I can’t do everything perfect. I can try my best and be happy with that, or I can try my best to be perfect, and hurt myself and my ego in the process.
I’ll think I’ll stick to trying my best.